Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
