Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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