Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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