In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
