god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize