Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
