Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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