What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
