I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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