**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize