Umm I'm too high to move.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
