i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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