Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
