if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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