im drinking this country out of the recession.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
