After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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