I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
