all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
