Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
