Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
