it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
