words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think a kid would responsible me up
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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