There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize