my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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