I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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