I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
