Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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