But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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