you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize