Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
