sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
look no pants
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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