508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize