This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
They have beer where we have blood.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
