I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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