After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
