I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
