i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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