I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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