I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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