I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
