my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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