how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
