Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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