it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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