My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
