Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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