Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
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