return my video game
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
