I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
