were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize