I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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