it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
