If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
