you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
