is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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