You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Randomize
