He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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