He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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