there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
