I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
don't judge my taste in strippers
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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