ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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